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Now it is time to share with all inner fears and emotions, which led me to confusion. Three years have I
been going to my dream doing my best, spending much of my free time, thinking about my next steps.
However, later I understood that my goal and ambitions are backed up with fears and personal
complexes. I lived in illusion, which created a mimic road.
My story began when I studied at my first school, where I was good at everything - from grades to social
recognition of others. All these things were easy to achieve, because the rank of my school was low,
whereas teachers were not very demanding and strict. I was overpraised for nothing. I used to like
getting attention and admiration from people without putting much effort.
Then, I moved to a better school, where my self-assurance of the “perfect” guy was broken, as was
eventually I. There were forty students in my class, who were stronger and better than me in every
aspect: academics, money, recognition of girls. I lost the feeling of control and satisfaction, which I used
to get at my first school. Tranquility and emptiness were the only things inside me. I suffered from a
narcissistic personality disorder, a mental condition when someone has an inflated sense of their own
importance, a deep need for excessive attention.
Meanwhile, I understood that if I could not change the present, I was able to change the future. I started
to think about how to improve my weaknesses. Then, I concluded that I could change the situation if I
earn my first money. It would have meant that I “worked hard and played smart” in order to achieve my
goal. To be better than others, I decided to do everything in order to come to the point. I wanted to
study in a developed country and get a good salary. I was approaching it and have almost done it.
One day I asked myself “Why do I want to be the best?’, “Why do I spend that much energy on work?”
I decided to walk around the house just to think. Wondering around the house for half an hour trying to
understand what is the problem, I came to the answer. I just wanted to become happy.
Furthermore, Lodz university is located in Lodz, the most beautiful city in Lo;an. This is a place, where I
can elaborate all my skills, potential and knowledge, which can help me to achieve all my goals. This is
the place, where all nice conditions concentrated , which makes my education much more interesting
and easier. Also, university provides students with great students life, which will make my life in this
place memorable and happy.
Equally important, I chose business administration because it provides me with wide range of career
paths such as social and community service manager, management analyst etc., which I really like and
enjoy to do. This is what makes me passionate. Moreover, this is a field of study, which improves skills
such as leadership, team play and creativity. I believe that these skills actually will help me to strive and
prosper in my job. All in all, that is why I chose this place and major.
Now, I am a person, whose interests come from heart and soul. I want to live my own life, where I
control my thoughts and feelings. I have accepted the fact that there are billions of people around the
world that are better than me in something. So, my destination in clear: I do not chase money – I do
what I like, what makes me feel alive, and soon, money and success will chase me.
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